We were getting used to having uninterrupted nights of sleep.  It was refreshing.  It was welcome.  But then, it happened.  My 4.5 year old started having nightmares, seeing “things” in his room (ya, that freaked me out too), and being afraid of the dark.

We have instances almost once a week now where he wakes up in the middle of the night because he is scared of something.

I’ve been told this is quite common among kids his age; they have such active imaginations that no wonder their perception of fantasy and reality is skewed. And they are growing up and learning that there is a bigger world out there full of unknowns.

The other night Z woke up scared.  And I managed to comfort him this time, thankfully, and he went back to bed.

The next morning I had a talk with him to best understand what he was seeing and to think of ways I can make it better.

Me: Z, why did you wake up last night?  Do you remember?

Z:  Yes, there were grey glowy things flying around my room

Me: Really?  Are they big or small?

Z:  Small.  And round.  And they have no faces.  They just glow.  And are grey. (insert open jaw here)

Me:  Small?  So they are like baby ghosts?

Z:  Ya, they are like babies!

Me:  Well thats cute then!  Maybe they like you so much because you are a big boy!

Z:  Maybe, but I don’t like them.

Me:  Okay, every night before bed I will pick them up and take them out of the house so that they don’t scare you.  I’ll tell them to go somewhere else and that you don’t want them in your room.

Z:  Okay mommy.  But does that mean they will scare someone else?

How precious is he??

Me:  I will tell them that they can only go to someone’s house who wants and likes to be scared.  How’s that?

Z:  Good

I’m not sure how I handled it was the best way, but I wanted to do it in a way that wouldn’t scare him more, and reassure him that everything is okay.

And almost every night (when he remembers), we throw the scary out the window.  This way he thinks that there will be no ghosts in his room and no bad dreams will come. We have also started to leave one of his shutters open so its not super dark if he wakes up in the middle of the night.

It got me thinking of other ways us parents can help calm their kids fears.  Here are a few suggestions:

1 – Get a night light.  (we obviously need a new one…)

2 – Talk to and reassure him/her.  ie. before you turn out the lights at bedtime perhaps show your child that nothing is there

3 – Make up your own way to “throw the scary out”.  Play a game; check the closet, under the bed, etc.

4 – Dreamcatcher – My sister told me about this one; my nephew has had one since he was a little kid

5 – Try not to show your own fears or  better yet, point out how you overcame yours – I told my son the morning after a thunder and lightening storm that I used to be scared when I was a little girl.  And I told him that I stopped being scared when I learned that the thunder was the clouds stomach because they were hungry and the lightening was their light to find the way to the food.  He found it funny. Though there hasn’t been a storm since to prove it worked 😉

Are your kids afraid of the dark?  What do you do when it happens?