From OT to Bullying...an interesting Friday | Me, Myself and Kids

From OT to Bullying…an interesting Friday

A Day in the Life Parenting Uncategorized

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As some of you may already know from my last post, T’s pediatrician has recommended we do Occupational Therapy to get him walking.  T is 18 months and can stand and walk but only while holding on to someone or something.

The call came on Friday from The CCAC and an appointment was made for Wednesday for T’s initial assessment.  It’s real and it’s happening.

Friday was also the day that Z came home from school with scratches on his face.  He couldn’t remember what had happened and I didn’t think much of it.  I had just cut his nails earlier that week and figured one was just rough.  Or, he sometimes bites his nails so again assumed that perhaps he made one rough and scratched himself.

It wasn’t until he was getting ready for bed, looked in the mirror and said that he remembers what happened.

He proceeded to tell me that when they were lining up to go inside from recess, a kid started pushing him, then kicked him and then hit him in the face!

My jaw dropped.  I couldn’t believe it.  Was my kid being bullied?  I don’t know about you, but that is one of my biggest fears as a parent.

He told me it wasn’t until they were inside that he asked the kid to apologize, which he did.  But he also told me he didn’t tell anyone what had happened.

Needless to say, I left a note in Z’s bag this morning for his teacher explaining the events that had happened Friday and got a call to discuss it and even to thank me.

While I think its great that the kid apologized, the whole thing was wrong.  And I explained to Z, as I have before, that while accidents can happen, someone that hurts you on purpose is bad.  And when it happens he needs to tell an adult right away and to not be scared.  I want to teach my son that telling on someone is okay when that someone has done something wrong.

I think he gets it.  And I think as he grows up he will realize it even more.

So, it was an interesting Friday last week.

Both are huge learnings for each of my kids.  Both will teach them to be stronger.  Both will show them not to be afraid.

And both of my boys will be okay.

 

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For the last 7+ years I have immersed myself in the “mom life”. My blog, appropriately named Me, Myself and Kids is my life; the challenges, the laughter, and the tears. But I also offer my own version of motherly advice. In doing so, I’ve designating myself as an MD or “Mom Doc”. Not because I know it all. Don’t get me wrong. It’s an open perspective; my learnings shared so you can take the good, bad and ugly and adapt it to your own family life. So please join me as I share all of the crazy and overwhelming thoughts and experiences of the mom life with Me, Myself and Kids.

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  • Mara April 28, 2014

    It’s great that your son came and told you and more impressed that the teacher was responsive. I’m sure your boy will be running before you know it. It’s because he’s cute. He gets carried.

  • A mother April 29, 2014

    I think parents, children, teachers and administrators today need to be very careful in using the word “bully” or “bullying”. While physical incidents between children are never positive interactions, they are not always bullying. In fact, more often they are not bullying at all. It is normal, healthy behaviour for children to occasionally be physical – toddlers, preschoolers, school-aged children. These are little people learning to express anger, frustration, sadness, fear, overtiredness, etc. Self-control is learned and their will be ups and downs.

    While I strongly agree with your approach to notify the teacher of the incident and discuss it with your child, I am exhausted by the overuse of the the concept of bullying today. And it pains me to see parents immediately jump to conclusions regarding their children either being bullied, or bullying other children. Bullying is repeated behaviour. It is used to exert force or pressure to intimidate another person – adult or child. One physical incident of pushing and hitting, while wrong and devastating as the parent of the victim, is no reason to suspect bullying. We really need to gain more perspective as a society today. Only the most extreme stories reach the media. The everyday fighting between children has neither increased nor decreased over the years. It just doesn’t hit the papers…or blogs…or Facebook.

    • Me, Myself and Kids April 29, 2014

      Don’t get me wrong…by no means was I actually calling this kid a bully. I was referring to the fact that as a mom and parent, the fear of my kids being bullied is present. The child in question has had more than one incident with the school and other children. It is not normal for one to hit or kick another knowingly. I am not jumping to any conclusions and do not take the situation lightly. I thought it was okay to express my feelings on my own blog but also appreciate your opinion.

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