A friend of mine once told me that when something sudden or tragic happens in your life, you will know who your friends are because those are the ones that will be there for you. Writing you, calling you, visiting you, just BEING there. She said this after she told me the devastating story of how her father had passed away. When my mother was first diagnosed we were hanging out alot and she reminded me, “you will see who your friends are”. It was so true. Over the past 2 years I’ve come to realize who REALLY cares. Those who asked, called, emailed, helped out when my mom was recovering. Its amazing to know who you can count on and who you can’t. It will be interesting to see if anything changes this time around as my moms 5th surgery date fast approaches. But the reason I wrote this post, is because I regret something I did…actually something I didnt do. That same friend who told me about her dads passing, the one that clearly stated how I will know who my friends are, got very sick last year. Sick to the point that she could have died and it was a miracle that she is still alive to this day. It was me this time that didn’t do what I should have and I feel sick about it constantly. I mean, I emailed her to check in and wrote her husband more than once to see if there was anything I could do. But, not once visited her. NOT ONCE. Its an action that I can never take back. And I regret it completely. I tell myself part of the reason was because my mom was going through so much, I was pregnant and tired and had a toddler to look after, but truly there is NO excuse. Our friendship has changed since. We still email and see eachother through a mutual friend every so often, but although she’s never said something, in my mind, she’s upset with me. And she has every right to be. And as she was going through one of the hardest ordeals in her life and struggling to stay alive for her husband and her baby girls, I bet she thought to herself, “I know who my friends are”.
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