I’m not one to try new things often. I’m comfortable doing what I know and staying in my comfort zone.
I honestly don’t know the last time I tried to do something I was afraid of. Nerves always kicked in. I think I was a nervous child too and feel it has stayed with me throughout the years.
When I danced as a young girl and into my teens, I loved it. But when it was recital time…fear kicked in.
My Bat Mitzvah, standing in front of a sea of people, all eyes on me…nerves kicked in.
New schools, new friends, even boys…I was always nervous or feared something.
This past weekend I was put to the test at a weekend away up north. There were activities at the lakefront that I really wanted to try. But I was scared. I watched as so many other people tried it. And I thought, if the kids can do it, so can I. I mean I’m about to turn 41. Why should I let my nerves get the best of me?
First up was the Paddleboard. I was nervous even just trying to get on the thing let alone steer myself out to the middle of the lake. But up I went, doing my best not to fall off, getting control of my balance, and off I went. And you know what? I did it! It was so freeing. It seemed the simplest of things to do, but the apprehension of TRYING is what gets me. I had the best time doing it, never fell off, and felt amazing.
But there is more. The next day my family decided to rent a boat so that my nephews and brother in law could ski. Skiing was never a strong suit of mine. I remember watching my mother excel at it when I was a young kid at the cottage. I remember trying it a number of times when I went to sleepover camp. I also remember I was never very good at it even though I could get up (a few times). But of course it was just another item on my “too nervous to try/do again” list.
We had the boat for 2 hours that day. And I sat back and watched my brother in law and nephews go out and do it, making it look so easy and like they were having the time of their lives.
I kept saying, I want to try. Then saying no. I went back and forth a number of times until I finally thought “Deb, just do it. Whats the worst that could happen?”
And so I did. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I was so nervous I was shaking. But up I went to the front of the boat to speak to the driver/instructor to get my lesson on how to Wakeboard.
I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I was conquering a huge fear by trying this and I knew that if I could do it I would be so proud of myself. And I also wanted my kids to not only be proud of me for trying, but also to see that even though you might be scared of something, you should still try.
In the water I went, I took my position, took a deep breath as I waited for the “here we go” call from the boat.
I felt the pull of the rope, the boat was moving, and up I went.
I tried 4 times in total. Each time I actually got up which I was so excited for. But only twice I managed to stay up. But you know what? THAT’S OKAY! All that mattered was that I tried and even though I wasn’t very good at it, I faced a fear. And you know what else? It wasn’t even scary! It was exhilarating. I had such a great time and I’m so happy that I tried it. And I know I will not be nervous to try it again another time.
I learned a lot about myself in those 2 days. I learned that while having fears and being nervous about things is normal, I shouldn’t be fearful or nervous about certain things. And I’m so proud of myself for trying. And though it took me until almost 41 years old to realize that, it’s better late than never.