As parents, all we want to do is protect our kids from hurt. I’m not talking about the physical hurt. I’m talking about the raw, emotional hurt. Their feelings.
When you have a child who isn’t very expressive of his feelings or shows emotion, it is hard when something happens that affects them so much that their feelings do show.
When it is sadness. Where there are tears. And the hurt shows. And the worst part is they are too young to fully grasp and understand the true meaning behind “the why” of it. Because all they really want to know is why them?
Growing up we have our fair share of disappointments and they can come no matter how old you are.
When you are a kid and you move, go to a new school and don’t know anyone. It’s scary. When you try out for the school play but feel failure when don’t make it. Or as an adult; when you interview for a job your really want but ultimately are not the chosen candidate. Again, failure. When you ask someone out on a date that you like but they turn you down. Heartache.
You can’t help but think “why me”?
Life is all about lessons. And as adults it becomes easier over time to deal with because you have already gained the tools and experience on how to deal with it.
But when you are a child, you don’t have those tools yet.
As parents we do our best to shield our kids from certain situations. But there are times when it is it almost impossible to do that. Because ultimately, there is a reason (whether it’s right or wrong) why they end up in that situation or position. Our children don’t understand how or why they got there, except for what us as parents tell them.
As parents we feel heartbroken when there is nothing we can do to change things. A colleague of mine wrote a blog post about protecting her daughter from hurt and what she said completely resonated with me. She wrote “we swallow our own maternal feelings of sadness, regret, worry, and heartache for your child.”
As parents we try to keep certain chatter or politics away from things we are dealing with that have to do with our kids. And it is unfortunate that while we try to do our best to keep things out, we can’t always, and in the end, it is the child who gets hurt. It is so unfortunate that our kids get impacted by the decisions we make, or for that matter, decisions that are made for us.
As parents we realize there are things beyond our control. I realize that things happen for a reason. But when it affects others, or worst of all your family, it doesn’t make that realization any easier.
As parents, we need to look out for ourselves, our kids and do our damnedest not to have them get hurt in our process.
Has your child ever experienced something that hurt them that was beyond your control?