I’m beginning to see the lines form on my forehead. I wonder to myself; “how can this be happening”? I mean, I’m only in my thirties. Okay, okay, I’m 38. I will be 40 in less than two years. That’s a whole other topic…but really? Wrinkles already??
Its no wonder why I have them though. Lately I’ve been in a state of panic and stress. I’ve been awfully anxious…nail biting, heart palpitating anxious with what seems to be the weight of the world on my shoulders. And throw in two kids to the mix, it really isn’t surprising that this is happening.
Take this morning for example. I was already stressed out at 7:15am. I remember standing in the kitchen, looking at the clock and thinking to myself, “wow, its only 7:15 and I am already a ball of nerves”.
Here’s a little preview of how my morning went:
*DS1 wakes up just shy of 530am and won’t stop crying until 6am when I go get him
This now means I cannot get ready for work because DH is out for a run and I can’t leave him by himself as he DOES NOT SIT STILL
*Get bottle, go get him, feed him, put him in my bed with me to rest wishing that maybe, just maybe he will fall back asleep
He doesn’t want to rest, he wants to play
*Get hit over the head with not one, but two TV converters, get crawled on and bitten, and know there is no chance I can stay in bed any longer
*’play’ with him until 6:45 at which point I get up and dressed so that I can get him ready for daycare
*proceed to attempt to get him ready, lye him on the floor only to allow the screams to begin and continue the whole time I change his diaper and get him into his clothes
DS4 is now awake and joins in on the fun
*Go downstairs to get DS4 breakfast
DS1 eats at daycare…I’m not that mean…
*Put DS1 down so I can make breakfast and crying ensues
*While DS1 cries and DS4 sits at the table eager for his food to come out of the toaster oven, I prepare lunch for DS4
*Breakfast is ready, serve it to DS4 while DS1 watches and continues to cry
*Give DS1 some of DS4’s breakfast
Turns out he’s starving and can’t wait for daycare. Likely because he decided he didn’t want to eat his dinner last night.
*DH is ready and comes down to take DS1 to daycare
FINALLY….
*DS4 finishes his breakfast and we go get him dressed and ready to go
Wow, I have 10 minutes to spare…not enough time for me to get dressed and ready for work
*Time to leave for school and DS not listening to me when I ask he put away his markers.
End up yelling at him and he finally gets it
*Get in the car to take him to school and realize I won’t have enough gas to get to work
*Drop him off and race back home so that I can get myself ready
*9:30am and I’m finally out the door to get gas and make it to the office at 10am.
Looking back, I still can’t believe that all of that happens in one morning. In a span of only a few hours.
Am I insane I don’t have help?
I still don’t know how moms who work out of the home with more than one kid do it. If anyone has any pointers on how to make this a little easier, please let me know! I’m 4 months off my maternity leave and beginning to realize the pressures of working moms. It wasn’t this hard when there was only one kid in the picture.
Well, now I’ll continue about my day, complete my work, and then leave so that I can go pick each one up, take them home, make them dinner, and hope that there are minimal tears…okay NO tears, and that dinner is actually consumed. These are the things that occupy my mind all of the time. The Planning.
I know this will all get easier and schedules will need to be adjusted and get used too, but this is me. I’m nervous and anxious and stressed.
I totally know where I get that from….
